Vows (Friday Fictioneers)

Mr Binks challenged me to a #replyfiction this week so here it is. To read Binks’ story called Promises, click here. Over to you next week Binks!

PHOTO PROMPT -Copyright-Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Image by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields at http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/

She was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar.

That much was true.

Why do you keep saying that?

Sorry, keep going.

I walked into the bar, feeling pretty good about myself. I’d just won a promotion and bought a new car. She promised me everything. Said we belonged together.

And you believed her?

She was very convincing. Very good at what she did. I proposed that very night.

And this was…?

…30 years ago today.

And now you’re working as a waiter in a cocktail bar?

I told you… she was very good at what she did.

*************

Friday Fictioneers is a challenge set by Rochelle Fields where writers around the world create 100 word stories inspired by the one image. For more information see: http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/11/12/14-november-2014 

17 Comments

Filed under Friday Fictioneers

17 responses to “Vows (Friday Fictioneers)

  1. Nicely done parallel, which surprised me totally. And very effective use of “Don’t You Want Me” as well.

  2. Now that songs stuck in my head! Good job.

  3. Pingback: Vows (Friday Fictioneers) | ugiridharaprasad

  4. MrBinks

    Nicely tackled, my dear 😀

  5. Yep – thanks for the ear-worm 🙂
    I liked the dialogue structure you used, particularly italics/normal fonts for the different speakers – removes the need for “speech marks”, names, any other identifiers. Worked really well.

  6. “But I gotta tell ya, folks …”
    Nice work, Jessie! Funny ending.

  7. Dear Jessie,

    Perfect complement to Mr. Binks’ story. Nicely done. Fortunately, I don’t know the song that’s stuck in at least two heads. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  8. Indeed that song you can milk for many stories…

    Good response.

  9. Dear Jessie,

    Now I’m lost in that song. Such a wonderful lost, though. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  10. Lovely, and the song is sticking, damnit.

  11. I’ve got that song stuck in my head too now 🙂
    I guess she’s moved on. With his car and everything else.

  12. Excellent bit of dialog, Jessie. That’s a story I’d read.

  13. Don’t you want me baby, don’t you want me ooooooo… 😀 Great, great story!

  14. Pingback: 10. Lord of the Flies – William Golding (100 book challenge) | Jessie Ansons

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