The reminder (Friday Fictioneers)

image

Image by Marie Gail Stratford at http://mariegailstratford.wordpress.com/

‘It’s stunning.’

‘Gorgeous!’

‘How did you collect all those bottles?’

Visitors to the house always comment on my bottle wall. After my father died I couldn’t bring myself to throw his bottles out, so I made them into an art piece. A reminder.

‘I wish my parents left me something worthwhile,’ they say.

Visitors don’t know the story behind the bottles. Every bottle has a meaning. Every bottle ended in an argument. A broken promise. A broken glass.

Or worse.

‘You’re lucky your father left you this wonderful legacy!’

Yes, in a way. I’m lucky my father left.

******

I’m feeling a bit dark after just finishing Iain Banks’ The Wasp Factory as part of my 100 book challenge (read my review here). I’ll try for a more cheery piece next week, I promise!

Read my reviews of books as I make my way through the 100 book challenge here.

Friday Fictioneers is a challenge set by Rochelle Fields where writers around the world create 100 word stories inspired by the one image. For more information see: http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/09/24/26-september-2014/

57 Comments

Filed under Friday Fictioneers

57 responses to “The reminder (Friday Fictioneers)

  1. Dear Jessie,

    I love the two voices speaking in unison in this piece. The face she shows the public and the truth of the matter. Fine vintage.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. Very clever play on words, and narrated in a controlled concise manner. Well done.

  3. Very clever word-work with the last line. Really liked it.

  4. Ah,,, what you find in those bottles could end so much.. and sometimes the only happy is the end itself.

  5. Jessie, How wonderful that she took a tragedy and made something beautiful from it. Well written. Good luck on your 100-book challenge! 🙂 —Susan

  6. Very poignant, it is hard to come out of the battle wearing that many scars…but in the end, what is left to do but to pick up the pieces. I love this story so much.

  7. Lovely! This shows a tad bit of humor (the guests) and a lot of bad history. The end beat is perfect!

  8. Great twist at the end, the beautiful masterpiece holding dark secrets. I wonder if the bottles, emptied finally of their poison, are a way of healing for her. Great last line too.

  9. Nicely twisted at the end and the two voices/faces worked wonderfully.

    janet

  10. I wonder why she would keep remembrances of bad times?

  11. Inside every bottle is a story, or a plea for help.

  12. The bottles make an interesting history for her. It’s bleak, though. I just hope your next book isn’t The Goldfinch.

  13. high five and raspberries

    Every bottle holds a story and they are not all “happily ever after” . I enjoyed the play on words..

  14. Yes, Jessie – a very clever piece. The words ‘paint’ bright images like lights again a dark black background – another creative view of the photo prompt. Well done.

  15. great story. ha. bizarre that she made a montage of something so upsetting, and ha -because of the understated wry ending of I’m glad he left. Randy

  16. I love dark! Mine is dark, too!
    Scott

  17. Dear Jessie,

    A fine interpretation of the prompt. Lessons learned, loss, reminders to never forget and an adroit play on words. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  18. This was great. The ‘darkness’ was subtle, and more powerful for it.

  19. Wow, this father was not a good one, it’s easy for people make comments without knowing what is behind. Good story!

  20. MrBinks

    I like this very much. Concise enough to be its own piece, but leaving you wanting more. Exactly how a 100 word piece of flash fiction should be.

    Well done.

  21. Who knows exactly what goes on behind closed doors … I really liked this, Jessie. 🙂

  22. A touch of darkness, I liked that line about how every bottle has a meaning.

  23. mscwhite

    Wonderfully written story! The ending was perfect!

  24. A little dark, yes, but how can we appreciate light without the dark?
    I like it.
    Lily

  25. Dark yes, but real as it is for many families…a great write and I love how you ended with this last line. The legacies we are sometimes left with need not be our destiny.

  26. hahaha! Left, indeed. That’s a cool story, Jess. Especially intriguing are the bottles, each with a story (although, I’m sure the “stories” all ended the same way and were the same motive every time). Nice!

  27. I really enjoyed reading this story and the twist at the end – very moving.

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