Head in the clouds (Friday Fictioneers)

image

Image by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields at rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com

‘Did you pack your toothbrush?’

‘Yes, Mum. All in my bag, right here.’

‘What about a comb?’

‘Yes, Mum. Look at the clouds!’

‘And a spare pair of socks?’

‘Yes, Mum. Will they serve us drinks?’

‘How about swimmers? I packed mine. You never know how warm it can get.’

‘Yes, I packed swimmers. Oh! I can see another plane! Look, Mum.’

‘A book to read?’

‘Yes, three books, Mum. How cool is this tray table?’

‘Your nose needs blowing. Let me get you a tissue… hmmm…’

‘What’s wrong, Mum?’

‘Hmmmm…’

‘Mum?’

‘It seems… I left my bag at home!’

*********

Friday Fictioneers is a challenge set by Rochelle Fields where writers around the world create 100 word stories inspired by the one image. For more information see: http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/1-august-2014/

50 Comments

Filed under Friday Fictioneers

50 responses to “Head in the clouds (Friday Fictioneers)

  1. Haha! Just brilliant, so busy fussing around someone else that your forget to make sure you have everything yourself. The dialogue in this is really wonderful.

  2. Very funny piece of dialogue. I can picture the conversation easily. Nicely done

  3. Dear Jessie,

    It seems Mum was the one with her head in the clouds, eh? Love the dialogue and the twist at the end. Well crafted.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  4. No going back for it now. πŸ™‚

  5. MrBinks

    D’oh! πŸ™‚

  6. Shame, that! And all this time Mum could have been enjoying the view! πŸ™‚

  7. Hahahaha! Oh, that’s a nightmare in the daytime! Good one, Jessie.

  8. This is delightfully funny! Thanks for the smile.

  9. Hahaha, fabulous. Just fabulous. I tip my hat to you, Jessie.

  10. Sounds like something I would do….lol! Great story! πŸ™‚

  11. Jessie,
    Good, believable dialogue. And a great ending–sounds just like a Mum.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

  12. Ha ha! Great story, Jessie, and all in very authentic dialogue. Interesting to see how you used the non-word ‘hmmm’ – works well here.

  13. Ha. ha.
    fun story – dialogue.
    Could of been my mother, but at the end, mine would have said “never-you-mind” just pass me your napkin.

    Randy

  14. Ha! Nice story Jessie with great dialogue.

  15. Been there. Done it. Still do. (Anyone seen my keys?)

  16. That was good! I enjoyed your bit of flash! ^..^

  17. miq

    I don’t normally like flash fiction that is entirely dialogue, however, I thought you did a wonderful with the dialogue. And I certainly chuckled at the end. Well written!

  18. Dear Jessie,

    A classic turnaround story. Very well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  19. Wonderful! And missing the clouds and the action outside the window as well. πŸ˜€

  20. Ha Ha! I am heading that way too. This morning kids dropped to school bus stop, dog fed, bin cleaned out, dishes put away and all in time to catch my bus to work. Except I had left my wallet at home with my travel card inside.

  21. Claudia

    Oh a Mum’s delimna! It happens to all at least once!

  22. It’s like you wrote about me! Not that I’m a mum yet…but I tend to worry about what everyone else is carrying and then forget to carry what I need in the end!

  23. Dear Jessie – Priceless! So true it happens all the time! This has happened to me. Thanks, Nan πŸ™‚

  24. A story in dialogue. Sound like a story of me packing. πŸ™‚

    Lily

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