Shiny and new (Friday Fictioneers)

 

Image by Jennifer Pendergast

‘What’s at this stupid park, anyway?’

Jay was quiet and moody but Eloise continued to push the point.

‘We could have been in New York by now! And I’m starrrrrrrrving.’

She complained getting out of the car. And for the entire walk up the hill. She kept complaining even when they’d arrived at the massive rusted structure.

Jay pulled a black and white photo from his pocket and she finally fell silent. In the picture the clock sculpture was shiny and new. And grinning proudly by its side was a tall man with dark hair, who was unmistakably Jay’s father.

*********

What books were loved by your 3 year old? See my recent post (and previous year’s versions) where I list my son’s ten favourite books.

Friday Fictioneers is a challenge set by Rochelle each week where writers from around the world post 100 word stories based on a common photo prompt. For more information, and to read other stories, visit Rochelle’s page here.

28 Comments

Filed under Friday Fictioneers, Uncategorized

28 responses to “Shiny and new (Friday Fictioneers)

  1. I wondered what was at the stupid park too. You found a better answer

  2. Dear Jessie,

    I hope Eloise agrees this was a worthy stop. Nicely penned.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  3. michael1148humphris

    I love parks, plain, or exciting like this one.

  4. There is something to be said about their communication skills. In the end, this is a sad story. Nicely done.

  5. Clever tale of a dysfunctional relationship.

  6. Beautiful capture of the generation gap. So many layers to this tale, peeling away one at a time.

  7. Glad she finally shut up…

  8. My tale was similar in that it was supposed to be a multi-generational monument. The word count limitation kept me from expressing all that, but I wonder how many other stories will depict this object as an enduring symbol of family?

  9. I hope this moment serves as a springboard for communication between the generation gap.

  10. Great capture of the relationship dynamic and of the sense of history/genrations

  11. Lovely take Jessie. Well worth the trip.

  12. Your opening question made me chuckle. Well written story, Jessie!

  13. I felt I had a perfect understanding of their relationship. And what might be wrong with it. Good one.

  14. I’m with Sandra, maybe because I’ve seen this. I wonder if all the argument would’ve been avoided if they had just talked. Then again, some things have to be shown…

  15. I wanted to slap Eloise! Great choice of books by your son. Dr Seuss never gets old!

  16. Loved the story. Well written. 😊

  17. Lovely story! Jittery girl but she seems to have got it in the end 😉

  18. Always good to remember those long gone!

  19. At least she shut her up eventually, nicely told.

  20. Jessie,
    I enjoyed how you set the sour tone with the complaining. It created a nice contrast and you could sense when the moment of significance set in.

  21. Well written, s usual, Jessie. Personally, I didn’t think their relationship was necessarily dysfunctional, but more it being the point of when someone doesn’t know the meaning behind something and complain etc and how all that changes once they do.
    My husband recently went down to Tasmania to show the kids where he came from as well as having the Tasmanian experience. We had a significant fight when we got to his home town because I saw it as the town, whereas his experience was visiting his mates farms, driving fast down dirt roads and unfortunately that world no longer exists. He also turned 50 last year. He couldn’t allow us to have our own experience and see it through our eyes, which really are the only eyes we have. I also think he needs to go back for a bit by himself and do his own thing there. No matter how much you try, you can take someone back to the past. I have struggled trying to do the same with him.
    xx Rowena

  22. Revisiting family history can be a powerful experience for those who know it. Those dragged along for the ride often aren’t as appreciative. At least that has been my experience with my kids.

  23. Sometimes you don’t just put your foot in your mouth. You follow it up with the other foot and both hands. She does seem chastened at the end.

  24. Great little story which rounded off perfectly – brilliant!

  25. I love the way you capture the power of memory and our need to go back in time. Sweet story, Jessie.

  26. Yes. I saw somewhat the same thing.
    Nice story, Jess.

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