
Image by CE Ayr at https://ceayr.com/
‘Breathtaking.’
Jay was a statue as he stared at the rust red structure in front of them.
‘Incredible. A hundred times better in real life.’
Eloise shrugged her shoulders. ‘Bit of a let down, I reckon.’
Jay glared at her. ‘A let down?!’
‘One thing, it’s not even-’
Jay interrupted. ‘Gold. Everyone says that.’
Eloise bit her lip. ‘But not just that. It’s… I was expecting arches and pylons and suspension cables. Not this one metal beam across a railway line and a few roads.’
She paused, then asked earnestly, ‘Are you sure this is actually the Golden Gate Bridge?’
Follow @jessieansons*********
Friday Fictioneers is a challenge set by Rochelle each week where writers from around the world post 100 word stories based on a common photo prompt. For more information, and to read other stories, visit Rochelle’s page here.
That made me laugh out loud. If you’d had more space to develop Eloise and Jay’s characters it would have had even more of a twist
Thanks – I love that you laughed out loud. My job is done 🙂
Dear Jessie,
Don’t tell me he sold it to her? Oh dear. There’s one born every minute. Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle 🙂
Hahahaha! I felt the same way when I remember the Golden Gate bridge as a kid. Where was the gold?
Five out of five Rice-a-Roni’s.
They should really consider renaming it to save any future confusion!
The end was hilarious…..loved the read
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Made me laugh out loud too Jess — very clever.
Glad I could make you laugh Marg!
He might be an idiot, but don’t dare contradict him 🙂
Haha so true.
Hah! This made me laugh.
Thanks Claire 🙂
Very funny. 🙂
Thank you Sandra!
So very funny! Loved it!
Glad you thought so 🙂
Ha! I think they might have taken a wrong turn somewhere … Love the dialogue here, very natural feel to it. Lovely take on the prompt
Glad you liked the dialogue. It’s something I’m trying to improve in my writing.
You did a great job. Very natural 🙂
Haha brilliant, gave me a laugh 🙂
Thanks Iain!
I often chuckle but that got a good laugh. Thanks!
Ahhh, so glad it got the good laugh!
The first thing I thought of was a dystopian future and that really was all that’s left of the Golden Gate Bridge.
Ooooh, I love that take on it!! Sci-fi novel in the making?
Nice twist.
Thanks Kecia 🙂
Just great, a lovely funny story,
So glad you like it!
Being led down the garden path, eh? Good one.
It’s a long path but someone’s got to walk it…
Heehee! Good one!
Thanks Elizabeth!
Liked the dialogue going between the two. Came out very real life like.
Clever end lines too.
So glad you liked it. I’m trying to improve dialogue in my writing and trying to define particular ‘voices’.
Hilarious! I bet he didn’t ask for directions. What fun.
They never do! Thanks 🙂
Ha.. it’s not enough with the color…
Thanks Bjorn 🙂
What a hoot!
Love this comment! Thanks Alicia 🙂
AS everyone has said, laugh out loud stuff
So glad you actually LOL’d 🙂
Fantastic – thanks for my chuckle!
…when I grow up! My tale.
You’re welcome 🙂
Nice twist. Nicely written, I too was led astray by your story.
Glad you liked it. Thanks for your comment!
Funny, this is such a simple dialogue, but it’s so well written that it really flows like a natural conversation would. You sort of forget you’re reading it. Love the ending. Poor thing.
So glad you thought so!! I’m trying hard to develop strong voices of my characters through dialogue… so I’m glad it showed 🙂
You NAILED it… I’ve dabbled in dialogue a few times. It’s hard enough to do by itself – let alone in 100 words. I really did enjoy it!
Oh, wow! That is funny! Great character development!
Glad you liked it!
LOL
Thanks Dawn 🙂
Eloise must be a really fun travelling companion. She’ll be learning a lot, no doubt.
Haha, she’s learning from the best tour guide out there!
Ha! Ha! I’ll bet he does not ask for directions.
Of course not!
Great post
Amazing
Visit mine
http://shivashishspeaks.wordpress.com/
Thanks for the lovely comment 🙂 I’ll check yours out.