Wax on. Wax off. (Friday Fictioneers)

image

She let it burn. And it melted. And spilled over onto the floor.

‘Shit, Janet! Look what you did.’

I crouched down to catch the dripping wax. While my fingers burned, she rolled her eyes.

‘Lighten up.’

And that was all she said.

It wasn’t the first time she’d said that. But it would be the last.

The wax would dry hard into the rug. The cabinet would be marked forever. The scar across my knuckles: visible until the day I died.

Before she left, she pouted her lips and blew out the candle, leaving me alone in the dark.

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To read more from Jessie Ansons, follow her on Twitter @jessieansons

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Friday Fictioneers is a challenge set by Rochelle Fields where writers around the world create 100 word stories inspired by the one image. For more information see:

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/2-may-2014/

36 Comments

Filed under Friday Fictioneers

36 responses to “Wax on. Wax off. (Friday Fictioneers)

  1. So many story questions in this piece – lovely. And I like how you resisted her being knocked off at the end.

  2. Vivid story – candle wax can destroy a lot of things.
    Better left in the dark than with Janet, I think πŸ™‚

  3. this is a story I really like.. so many open ends here… things just happen that way.

  4. I’m kind of ambivalent about this story. It’s well-written, just kind of leaving ME in the dark. Good job, though, Jessie! You captured a slice of life.

  5. It feels to me our stories are somehow connected. πŸ™‚

  6. Jessie, Good story that’s very realistic. Some people don’t know how to get along with others or appreciate other’s belongings. It’s best if Janet finds a roommate who thinks the same way she does. Well done. πŸ™‚

  7. Nice writing – as always, but was a bit in the dark also regarding the ending.

    • Hmmm, interesting. Seems I was a bit too vague this week, so here’s how I see it: the narrator likes things clean, Janet’s a bit more relaxed. It’s a common topic of argument for the two of them, but the wax is the breaking point for Janet as she just wants him to relax. She’s forever telling him to lighten up (relax) but this is the last time. She leaves him forever, blowing the candle out for effect on the way πŸ™‚

  8. First of all, I did NOT do that! Secondly, I’m a bit in the dark as to what’s going on and why the one is left in the dark. But the emotions and feelings came across well. As for the title, that came to mind right away, but I resisted. Besides, it wouldn’t have fit my story. πŸ™‚

    janet

  9. Very intriguing. A mixture of concrete and abstract that requires the reader think! Great!

  10. Anger. Obstinacy. Physical and mental pain. Open end. What’s next?

  11. So…it’s the last time Janet will admonish her to lighten up. Does that mean there is murder afoot? Questions, questions….

  12. Dear Jessie,

    Hot wax can really burn. Ouch. However, while the descriptions were vivid and easy to understand, the story’s a little vague. Perhaps that’s your intent? Feels like an excerpt from something larger.

    Shalom

    Rochelle

    • Hi Rochelle, seems like most agreed with you on the vagueness. I’ve described above how I saw it, but I’ve learned a lot from this week about being too abstract. Thanks for your comment!

  13. Agreeing with the questions above, but glad that Janet got to walk away. After a re-read wondering if the main character was off’ed? hehe, way to keep us guessing!

  14. MrBinks

    “Lighten up” πŸ˜€

    • Is it the phrase ‘lighten up’ that’s confusing everyone maybe? Is that a international term or maybe just something said here in Oz? Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

  15. I like how this is written, but in the middle where you say, “would be her last” kind of threw me down the wrong path.

  16. Ooh, I could pick this up and continue in so many ways – brilliant!

  17. Ouch! I’ll make sure I use a coaster if I ever come round yours! Brilliantly done. Very realistic.

  18. Too grim! Too grim! I love it! Cheers! πŸ™‚

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