
Image by Erin Leary at http://erinlearywrites.com
With each step closer to the river she peeled a layer of clothing from her body and dropped it to the ground. Her hunched shoulders relaxed; the tightness around her mouth released.
There was not another soul to be seen. Her naked legs stepped into the water. She scraped her fingers lightly across the surface and the gentle current wrapped around her middle.
She took in the deepest of breaths then let her body sink, leaving just her head above water.
It was so peaceful she could hear the swarm of flies already beginning to gather around his dead body.
***********
Friday Fictioneers is a challenge set by Rochelle Fields where writers around the world create 100 word stories inspired by the one image. For more information see:
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/05/21/23-may-2014/
Virgina Woolf – first thing that came to me after reading your wonderful story. Loved it.
Thank you! I was channelling Ms Woolf so I’m glad you picked that up.
Dear Jessie,
I suppose one would need to unwind after committing a murder. Very stressful endeavor. Nicely written.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle. I loved the prompt this week… so mysterious. You know what fog’s like… with it’s ability to hide bodies in the grass.
Dear Jessie,
I like that I am left with the unmistakeable feeling that his death was somehow justified. I could be wrong, but the feeling remains, courtesy of your fine writing.
Aloha,
Doug
Yes! I’m so glad you picked that up. It’s not so much the murder that was stressful, rather the life that she had with him.
Haha…..got me there, in more ways than one..here was I, with a sensual image in my mind, then shock! Horror!
Nice. Sensual to shock! Glad I could take you on that journey.
I thought it was about her death.. nicely deceived..
So happy to saw it that way as i was thinking along those lines when I wrote it.
Oh so good! I feel her contentment. Well done.
Yes, contentment was definitely the feeling I was trying to get across. Thank you for stopping by!
Well, that certainly took care of him! I got the strong impression he shouldn’t have messed with her. The swarm of flies gathering … gruesome, chilling and a sensational finish. Great writing.
Thanks so much for reading Di! She got her revenge in the end and now she can enjoy the rest of her days… provided those flies don’t attract too much attention from the neighbouring farms!
Jessie, Well written with some points left to the imagination. I agree with Doug that she seems greatly relieved and feels that his death was justifiable. Good story. 🙂 —Susan
Yes, she is certainly relieved. I like to make my murders justifiable and I’m glad she’s now at peace. Thanks for reading!
OK, I’m creeped out now. 🙂
Very descriptive and gets you in the story pronto. The metaphor of going into the water to “wash away the guilt” is a classic one. You used it well.
Thank you! And glad (in a way) that you’re feeling creeped out. That was what I was trying to portray.
This flowed nicely from what seemed like a suicide to murder (?) The thought of river water up to her neck made my skin pucker. Great job.
Yes! Glad you saw it that way. Thanks for reading.
It takes a lot to justify a death, but whether justified or not (and FF tend towards offing people!), I like your metaphor of washing away the guilt as Kent mentioned and also perhaps washing away evidence of the murder.
janet
Yes, that’s right. I was thinking there might be a bit of ‘evidence’ on her body that needed washing. Glad you had a read!
Nice feel to this piece. As an aside I think the first sentence would be better without “…and dropped it the ground” – I think we can assume that’s what she does i.e. don’t think it’s worth the words to tell us.
Funny you should say that… I originally had it without that clarification then I decided to add it in. Funny how sometimes we should go with our first instincts. Thanks for the critique!
Grim. But you know… in a good way.
Does grim come in any other way!? Thanks for stopping by to read.
Whoa, that twist at the end!
Glad you like it! Thanks for the read and for commenting 🙂
Very skillfully crafted, leading us to anticipate a suicide, and then revealing the gruesome truth!
Thank you Jan. I’m glad you read it that way. Seems as though my piece this week gave all the effects I was hoping for!
Unexpected and chilling! ( she needs to dispose of him before he gets bloaty) 🙂 Enjoyed!
Haha thanks for the tip! Next week’s FF might cover that part off.
Wow! That was unexpected. Great build-up; I myself had almost unwound when you hit me in the solar plexus. Great writing.
Lovely! Thanks for your comments and I’m glad the piece is packing a literary punch.
Pow! There it is. I was uneasy throughout… wondering if she was going to commit suicide. Then I relaxed, for just a second. Nice job, Jessie! 😉
Perfect! I’m so glad it had that effect.
Yoinks! There was I, enjoying a nice quiet peaceful scene… 🙂
Hehe, sorry about that! Thanks for stopping by.
You are such a bad girl…
Hey! Send all complaints to the protagonist… I’m just the author!
Great use of imagery. As some have already commented, a very sensual piece with a sting in the tail, so to speak.
Thanks for your comments and for stopping by!
Yes, i thought Virginia Woolf too, but then the sinister ending changed all that. I wonder what he did to deserve that?!
So glad you picked up on Virginia Woolf and the ending was a surprise.
well, that surprised me. What a monster, in sheep’s clothing. Well done. Lucy
Ooooh, I like the metaphor of a monster in sheep’s clothing. Nice!
Great story Jessie. I felt her relief at the end 🙂
Yes, she was relieved because her life with him wasn’t the best. Glad you picked up on the nuances.
Oh, creepy twist. Just my kind of story! Nice.
Thanks Shandra!! I’m not usually into murders but the foggy photo prompt seemed so dark and sinister.
Jessie,
I found the first part of the story satisfying in itself. You added even more with the twist at the end. I agree with Doug that the murder seems somehow justified. There must be a deep back story here, but you skillfully tell just what is necessary to create depth of character in only a few words. Neatly woven.
All my best,
MG
Thanks so much MG for your comments. Yes, it was justified and I’m glad you picked that up.
It was there in the innuendo. Your writing did the work. 😉
LOL Smashing ending there. Mood breaker you! 😉 Tay.
Thanks Tay. I’ll let you re-read it without the last line if that helps 😉
Deliciously dark. I went from wanting to swim with this woman to wanting to be very far away from her! Very nice use of the 100 words.
Thank you Michael! Glad you enjoyed it.
The ending of the story made me giggle maniacally. Thank you.
That’s just the giggle I was after! Thanks for reading 🙂
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