Image by Adam Ickes at http://adamickes.wordpress.com/
Click-a-clack. Click-a-clack. Click-a-clack.
That’s the sound 3-inch stiletto heels make on a boardwalk.
Click-a-clack.
Her body is hidden under the loose pants and man’s jacket. From a distance you wouldn’t know she’d dressed up.
Click-a-clack. Click-a-clack.
But he always had a thing for heels.
Click-a-clack. Click-
She stops at the end of the boardwalk and peers over the edge.
Waits.
Ka-plonk.
That’s the sound 3-inch stiletto heels make when dropped into water.
Her face is covered by sunglasses. From a distance you wouldn’t know she’d been crying.
Silently, she turns and walks back to the shore.
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Friday Fictioneers is a challenge set by Rochelle Fields where writers around the world create 100 word stories inspired by the one image. For more information see: http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/03/05/7-march-2014/
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Want to read more from Jessie Ansons? Check out my recent blog post about how my husband proposed: The greatest of all marriage proposals
Jessie Ansons 
Dear Jessie,
Sight and sound…well done. Ka-plonk means closure. I enjoyed.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle! And once again a brilliant choice of photo… I wish I could have this one printed on my wall! It’s gorgeous!
You’ll have to talk to Adam about that. 😉
Loved the sounds in this 🙂
Thank you!
Well-written story. The sound of the heels definitly adds to the effect.
Great! Thanks for the read.
Great story. Felt almost like I was there.
Thanks for the read!
Very poignant, Jessie. I could hear her walking.
janet
Thanks Janet, I’m glad it had that effect.
Jessie,
this is a story written for a blind man, with so much attention to sounds. 🙂 I feel bad for her though. Did she throw the heels in or drop them in accidentally? I’m guessing she threw them in, but I could see it either way.
-David
Thanks David! The answer to your question is completely up to the reader to determine. Likewise the reason why she is on the boardwalk and has been crying… so I’ll leave it with you to decide 🙂
The repetition in this was totally effective. Very well done.
Thanks Sandra. I’ve been playing with repetition and sounds a bit lately so I’m glad this piece worked.
I could hear her walking, with the click-clack on the boardwalk. i love heels but the noise can get on you nerves on some surfaces.
Well done Jessie, the ka-plonk was particularly apt as an end to the relationship.
Dee
Thanks for the read Dee! I’m glad the click-clack was effective.
I feel that the structure you’ve used here is very effective. Very well done.
Thank you! Glad you liked it.
Well done Jessie good use of sounds, I did enjoy the ending….
Thank you! I’m glad you liked the sounds!
Worked for me as I couldn’t spell onomatopoeia. Have a good day Jessie.
I looked up onomatopoeia just this morning! I wonder if my story is inspiring others to do that?
Only if they can spell it…lol…hope you are well.
Silently, she turns and walks back to the shore.
I heard that!
Nice 🙂 thanks for the read
An emotive piece cleverly construed with effective sensory details. Well done Jessie.
Thanks for reading Di!
Love the way you used the shoes to signify the end of something, Jessie. I’m dying to know what colour they are so I have a clue to their relationship. I picture red.
I considered adding a colour to it but preferred the mystery (and anything to save a word or two in flash fiction is a win!) Thanks for the read!
Mysterious but somehow satisfying. Enjoyable read.
Thanks for the read!
Fascinating expertly crafted story. You truly felt the person’s angst!
Thanks Perry! Glad I was able to portray that.
too bad the heels ended in the water. and that she was crying, and seeming to rid herself of memories of him, amiright?
Yep, spot on! I hadn’t decided whether he left her or he’s dead, but happy to leave that up to the reader. Thanks for the read!
Why do I think that the man’s jacket she’s wearing is supposed to mislead any observers into thinking the person she was meeting is the one leaving on the boardwalk when actually, she’s done him in because he discarded her and therefore the tears? Good story with lots of interpretations.
Thanks for the read! Yes, there’s lots of interpretations and it’s been interesting seeing what the readers think.
I loved the contrast from the sound of her heels at the start to the silent walk at the end, like the peace that follows the trauma of acting on a major decision. Well told.
Thanks for the read! Your summary is perfect 🙂
The onomatopoeia make this piece. The repeated Click-a-clack ending with the Ka-plunk. Good use of the device.
I’ve always loved onomatopoeia from when we learnt it at school. If only they spelled it like it sounds!
One can easily visualise this story. Beautiful!
Thanks for the read!
This would make a suspenseful opening to a mystery or other novel. We don’t know why she’s slinging those click-a-clacks. We could jump to the conclusion that her crying’s somehow connected with the shoes. I like to think that. Stiletto heels and tears – nice juxtaposition.
Thanks, I’m glad it got you thinking!
I’ve been thinking for a long time.
Nice! A lot of creativity here. She’ll have to retaliate with a stiletto to the forehead of the offender for the next prompt 🙂
Haha love it!
The sounds here make the story. That ka-plonk should be cathartic for our heroine. I hope more comfortable footwear and a happily ever after are in her future.
MG
Thanks MG! I find both those things usually go together 🙂
What a clever and creative use of onomatopoeia Jessie-loved that it was a one way walk and she decided to “let go” of some painful memories with that “ka-plonk” 😀
Thanks for the feedback!
🙂
Jessie, what a great job of stringing the sound and movement along, and thus, pulling your readers into the story. I love that I imagined her going to meet a lover, only to hear the sound of that relationship ending. Ka-plonk! Well done!
Lovely! Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
a one-way walk with so many possibilities…good one!
Thanks for reading!
I think she stabbed him with a heel (stab, stab), stole his clothes, shoved the body under the boardwalk and is now disposing of the murder weapon. Lots of mystery here.
Wow! That’s an awesome take on the story! Love it.
Intriguing! Loved the sound the 3 inch stiletto heels made nicely done Jessie!
Thanks, glad you liked it!
I like how this is so sensory! Well done!
Thanks Riya, glad you enjoyed it.
Great story Jessie – Love the noise on the boardwalk as she’s walking! Nan
Thanks for the read Nan!
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