Balanced, he looks down at the water below.
He says to himself, ‘If no one stops me. This is the end.’
An old woman waves her cane and croaks, ‘Don’t jump! No one deserves to die like this!’
He smiles and walks away. From his jacket pocket he pulls a pen and a piece of paper. There’s a list of names, some crossed off.
At the top of the page he writes: Woman with cane. He puts the list away. He smiles again. Then from his other pocket he pulls out a gun and turns back towards the woman.
Friday Fictioneers is a challenge set by Rochelle each week where writers from around the world post 100 word stories based on a common photo prompt. For more information, and to read other stories, visit Rochelle’s page here.
63 responses to “Unbalanced (Friday Fictioneers)”
That’s some kind of weird balance. Let him jump. 😉
Thanks Rochelle. I say let him jump too! When you’re saving lives you never know what lives you’re actually saving…
Kill someone for saving your life?! That’s some seriously messed up mind-set.
Thanks, I’m a little concerned myself! But my characters tend to write themselves… I’m just an innocent bystander.
Lovely twist in the last line. Very sinister story. “Unbalanced” is a brilliant title
Thanks Fuzzy! Sinister sums it up nicely 🙂
Ah.. that is one twisted soul. Soon there will be time to jump I think.
Let’s hope he jumps soon. Thanks for your comment 🙂
Oh wow! What an evil character. Nicely twisted, both the MC and the story.
Thanks Sandra. I’m glad I could make you go wow 🙂
Such a great twist at the end, and I love the title – just perfect.
Yes, i’d say this is a twisted mind indeed. Nicely written.
Thank you for reading and commenting. He sure is twisted, this one!
“If no one stops me, this is the end.”
How the meaning of this changes! Very clever!
Thanks for your comment and glad you picked up on the double meaning 🙂
What a twisted story, I hope no one comes to his “rescue” next time. Great writing, Jessie.
Me too! Thanks for your comment.
Brilliant Jess – love it
Thanks Marg! Glad you liked it.
Maybe he will use that gun on himself instead and no one will stop him.
We can only hope…
I love it.
Thank you! Lovely comment 🙂
Great title. Certainly sums up your little friend. I wonder if he would have jumped…? Fascinating.
Utterly twisted twist!
Thanks for your comment 🙂
What can I add to all the other comments? The title is perfect, the story is twisted, and I worry about you! 🙂
Haha thanks. Don’t worry about me, my characters write themselves so I have nothing to do with it!
Oh No! And she was trying to help him. Another example of “No good deed goes unpunished?”
Thanks for reading and commenting Deborah 🙂
Now that’s what I call a psychopath! Attract your victims by duping them into ‘saving the life’ of their own killer – twisted indeed!! Thoroughly enjoyed.
Yes, this is a pretty messed up character! Thanks for commenting Di 🙂
If he keeps doing this there won’t be any kind people left. Gosh! What a twist!!!
Good point! What a world!
I wonder how the police will go trying to find connections between these murders. They’ll never figure out a motive. Very intriguing character.
Thanks Margaret for your comment 🙂 The police will certainly have a hard time.
The most chilling parts are the creepy smiles…well done.
Thank you for your comment 🙂
Ugh, I hate this character but like the writing.
Lovely! Thanks so much!
Good story. Chilling. What a way to decide on your victim. Hopefully next time no-one will stop him. I’ll think twice now about helping anyone.
Thanks for reading and commenting! Yes, I hope so too 🙂
I kind like this story and then feel I oughtn’t too…
Nice, that’s the feeling I was going for!
Very chilling, a serial killer who goes after the Good Samaritan. Excellent twist!
Thanks Yolanda 🙂
Whew! what a twist at the end!…great lines…
Thank you Sumana for your lovely comment 🙂
Balanced. Unbalanced. This story was great, loved the twist at the end, made me go back and read it again – every sentence read in a different light. Top marks.
Brilliant! Glad you could experience it in two different ways.
I don’t want to repeat… just saying: amazing!
Thank you so much!
Wow. Where did that come from? Lol
Haha tell me about it! It scared myself!
Unbalanced indeed. Very freaky.
Thanks for stopping by Corina!
Oh frightening! And so much for the Good Samaritan Law.
Thanks for reading 🙂
Now that’s what I call a twisted twist.
It was a twisted week! I’ve brightened it up a little this week now 🙂