Unbalanced (Friday Fictioneers)

PHOTO PROMPT © The Reclining Gentleman

Image by The Reclining Gentleman at https://thereclininggentleman.wordpress.com

Balanced, he looks down at the water below.

He says to himself, ‘If no one stops me. This is the end.’

An old woman waves her cane and croaks, ‘Don’t jump! No one deserves to die like this!’

He smiles and walks away. From his jacket pocket he pulls a pen and a piece of paper. There’s a list of names, some crossed off.

At the top of the page he writes: Woman with cane. He puts the list away. He smiles again. Then from his other pocket he pulls out a gun and turns back towards the woman.


Friday Fictioneers is a challenge set by Rochelle each week where writers from around the world post 100 word stories based on a common photo prompt. For more information, and to read other stories, visit Rochelle’s page here.


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63 responses to “Unbalanced (Friday Fictioneers)

  1. Dear Jessie,

    That’s some kind of weird balance. Let him jump. 😉



  2. micklively

    Kill someone for saving your life?! That’s some seriously messed up mind-set.
    Good piece.

  3. Lovely twist in the last line. Very sinister story. “Unbalanced” is a brilliant title

  4. Ah.. that is one twisted soul. Soon there will be time to jump I think.

  5. Oh wow! What an evil character. Nicely twisted, both the MC and the story.

  6. Such a great twist at the end, and I love the title – just perfect.

  7. Caerlynn Nash

    Yes, i’d say this is a twisted mind indeed. Nicely written.

  8. “If no one stops me, this is the end.”

    How the meaning of this changes! Very clever!

  9. What a twisted story, I hope no one comes to his “rescue” next time. Great writing, Jessie.

  10. margaret jackson

    Brilliant Jess – love it

  11. Maybe he will use that gun on himself instead and no one will stop him.

  12. Great title. Certainly sums up your little friend. I wonder if he would have jumped…? Fascinating.

  13. emiliopasquale

    What can I add to all the other comments? The title is perfect, the story is twisted, and I worry about you! 🙂

  14. Oh No! And she was trying to help him. Another example of “No good deed goes unpunished?”

  15. Now that’s what I call a psychopath! Attract your victims by duping them into ‘saving the life’ of their own killer – twisted indeed!! Thoroughly enjoyed.

  16. If he keeps doing this there won’t be any kind people left. Gosh! What a twist!!!

  17. I wonder how the police will go trying to find connections between these murders. They’ll never figure out a motive. Very intriguing character.

  18. The most chilling parts are the creepy smiles…well done.

  19. Ugh, I hate this character but like the writing.

  20. Good story. Chilling. What a way to decide on your victim. Hopefully next time no-one will stop him. I’ll think twice now about helping anyone.

  21. I kind like this story and then feel I oughtn’t too…

  22. Very chilling, a serial killer who goes after the Good Samaritan. Excellent twist!

  23. Whew! what a twist at the end!…great lines…

  24. Balanced. Unbalanced. This story was great, loved the twist at the end, made me go back and read it again – every sentence read in a different light. Top marks.

  25. gahlearner

    I don’t want to repeat… just saying: amazing!

  26. Unbalanced indeed. Very freaky.

  27. Oh frightening! And so much for the Good Samaritan Law.

  28. Now that’s what I call a twisted twist.

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